There are ant mother fuckers climbing on me! I hate finding them. I love to smooosh them. I can feel them and I don’t know where they are and alls I want to do is smoosh smoosh them.
It is unseasonably warm outside. Ants want to come inside and be cool. I say no! Go find another home! You are unwelcome here. And you can only be cool to get in this house to get cool, and you’re not COOL cause you’re an ant mother fucker, so tough luck bud, get outta town!
I got chocolate on my comforter last night. I bought chocolate covered almonds at See’s Candies at Crystal Court in South Coast Plaza. I was mad so I bought yummies. Mad because Borders, where I wanted to go to buy my dad’s birthday gift, was closed due to a book signing or some THING and I couldn’t get what I wanted to get. Yummies were needed to assuage said anger. But the yummies just made me anxious/hyper...maybe due to combo with caffeine and alcohol also consumed this day? So then I got soup and felt better, and then chips and felt even betterer. Also, I bought some for my dad. Some chocolate covered almonds, that is.
I think maybe the ants are after the choco. Must do laundry. Don’t want to move is so hot. Those ant mother fuckers are moving all over the place. I don’t even get the satisfaction of kicking their asses for invading my housey, but must smoosh smoosh smoosh them and get guts on me. I like smooshy, but not gutsy.
I know! I will find the queen, I will threaten her with a dangerously too close finger in her face (I will do finger exercises first!), she will get the message, she will be scared of smooshy, she will call the troops out and I will not feel little tickles on my legs.
Where do queens hide?
No comments:
Post a Comment