Funny Skinny

If I’m funny I don’t have to be skinny, right?  Are you still sexy if you are funny, but not skinny?  I feel like yes, but to less people? (Yes that is a question, insert upward inflection on "people").  Is sexy or funny better?  I feel like funny is way better.  I want to have the ability to be sexy and funny and also not be a waif.   How do I get funnier? I need attention and want people to like me so they will hire me for acting jobs.

I’m going to take an improv class at Upright Citizen’s Brigade.  I’m hoping that will make me funnier.  Maybe if I am around other people who are funny people, I will become a funny person too.  Also, I will learn things.   Improv things that will make me funnier.  I just really don’t want to be hungry all the time.

Being skinny would be such a pain in the ass too.  Oh, and I know I’m not overweight, don’t think I’m whining or anything.  I have a healthy and normal weighted body that I am as happy with as a 24 year-old actress living in la la land can be.  So, anyway, so much work, right?  And WORRY!! Worrying about the gym, and what you put in your mouth all the time.  I exercise, I eat healthy, but I don’t want to turn myself into a product.   Or am I supposed to do that?  As an actress, I am a product? (Inflection again.)  Yeah. Yeah, damn, I think I am.

BUT, though, I feel like the more normal human I am, the more relatable? A normal human product?

Yes.

People who are really skinny are scary though, huh?  Decidedly non-sexual as well.  Less human?  I mean, obvs, you’re still a human being if your are totes thin, but I’m talking about the relatability factor.

ANYWAY.

I just want to be a normal Kelly person and not a scary bobble-head on a stick that used to be a body.  And my head is so huge I would look so weird if I had a stick for a body instead of a body for a body.  I don’t want to look funny, I want to be funny. 

Hire me.  I’m so awesome.