Aimee and John's Wedding Toast

This didn't actually make it to the reception, but here it is now:

(minus an actual ending)

You know, Aimee and John have been together a long time.  Not as long as I’ve known her, I met her like a month earlier, but still a really long time and now they’re married, and you know, that is so great.  I know you all are familiar with Aimee and John as a couple, but Aimee and I have a special relationship too. Um, a different relationship.  I’m not saying OUR relationship is equal to or even better than Aimee and John’s relationship, its just, um different and...special. 

Aimee and I met freshman year at UCSB and it was love at first sight.  I can tell you exactly what she was wearing.  A light blue “bubba gump” tee shirt elegantly coupled with a dashing pair of equally light blue Abercrombie jeans.  Her hair dangled sweetly from her head in ravishing Pocahontas style braids.  She. Was. Exquisite. 

We spent our days in Environmental Science and Psych 1 giggling quietly at the back of the lecture halls at inside jokes and delicately brushing each other’s hair in the dark.  We’d see movies downtown, get pedicures, and dip our freshly lacquered toes in the gentle waves of the ocean watching beer cans float by and planning the rest of our lives....It was college and we were free and everything was ok and we were happy.

I remember the first day John joined us in the UCSB Carillo dining commons for lunch.  He wore...something boyish. and his hair was all curly.  Lunch was something Aimee and I usually did together, but I was totally willing to give him a chance. I mean its just eating.  Its not like I can’t eat in front of people besides Aimee...now....so it was fine.  It was sweet. They flirted and stuff.  You could tell they really liked each other. Which was nice.  John was around a lot more after that.  There were less pedicures and hair brushing, but, um, I had Karl.  Hey Karl!  I love Karl, he is a great friend. A great unmarried friend.

Well, time passed, and Aimee and John’s relationship grew stronger and stronger.   I grew sick of the constant sunshine and beauty of Santa Barbara and I eventually decided it was time to move on....1200 miles away to Seattle. Not, BECAUSE of John or anything.  I transferred schools and moved to the great Pacific Northwest to focus on my acting, like all great actors do, such as Brendan Fraser who went to my school. It was rainy and grey and important and I did acting things that were meaningful with artists who made important statements about the environment and eating organic and the plight of bees and I like to think it made the world a better place.

So I left AND they moved in together and now they’re married.  So, I guess you could say, we’re all here today because of ME.  You’re welcome.  Enjoy the cake, I hear its really good.

All joking aside, I dearly love those two people, I am so happy to be here to see this.  Aimee has been a true friend since the day I met her, to the full extent of what that word means.